Mood:  quizzical

I remember when I used to pray every night for a boyfriend. selfish huh? dang that was a while ago...middle school? wow... i used to think that a boyfriend would make life better, make me happier, and make me complete in some way. but dang, how my life has turned around. now i pray every night that all the boys will leave me alone! i dont understand, there are so many now, its annoying, and im not meaning to be arrogant. what have i done to make them like me so much? my conclusion is it's this darn haircut, curse you bangs! i dont know what i want, i dont know what God wants, i dont know anything. for right now, i want to be single, even if there are a couple of reeeeeeally hot guys that like me...sigh. i miss the holding hands, i miss the hugs, i miss the kisses, and i miss being a half to a wholesome. but i also know that sometimes ya just gotta be patient, find urself, find God, and let the guy find you. it is all so confusing and i want/neeeed someone to talk to, but sometimes there just isnt anybody to really talk to about this kind of stuff, cuz its all confusing and stupid an cannot really be put into words, so God is the only one who can help I guess. if only that was easier...

i did have a good thanksgiving break though. definitly my favorite of the 18 years i have lived on the earth. haha so much went on, there are not enough spaces on a page to describe lol. so peace out.

love cindi lou