Mood:  sad

I never realized how angry I could get until tonight. And dang, I am reeeeeally sorry. Generally, I am a kind person. I keep all my anger inside me, most of the time, only my true friends have seen me angry. But today, I blew up. I dont like it when I see my bffs hurt, and lets just say for future reference, never ever ever ask cindi houser to talk to the person that is hurting you, cuz it will not be pretty. i mean i know she needed a talkin to...but that was baaaad. nobody deserved what came out of my mouth. so right now i feel like crap, i feel like satan. but i guess it had to be done. idk. i feel horrible! i did not know i was capable of being so mean :( this is rediculous. i hate drama. this is why i have all guy bffs. but i guess that wont even keep me from the drama lol.

but when i see my friends hurt, then i am hurt, thats just how it is. i cant stand it.  i dont even feel like writing this blog anymore. i dont know how to explain myself. i feel too broken to explain. i know that sounds rediculous, because it is. but thats how im built, i see someone cry, i cry. God gave me an extremely soft heart, which I guess will be good for my future nursing career, but right now, it SUCKS! because when a close friend of mine is down, then i am down twice as hard. cuz i feel their pain, but i feel worse, cuz i know i cant fix it. but whatever, im out. ive had enough. as much as i would like to wake up tomorrow and forget what has happened, i know that wont happen. so i apologize. im a jerk. im an a**. im ugly, im fat. im a butthead. im evil. ill be getting coal for christmas...gnight.