Mood:  not sure

Woooow, so sorry. It has been a while since i've written. I've got so much on my plate it's ridiculous. But i've got even more on my mind, but i have no idea how to put it to words. Today i went with my mom to switch over the car to my name and such, and a bunch of insurance crap and blah blah de dah. and my mom is freaking me out a lot asking me what i want to do with the house and such if my parents suddnely die or something. and im just like AAAHHHH i dont know! i mean i enjoy living in my sheltered life where i believe that no one dies lol. i mean lately i have been realizing a lot that life is short, its as simple as that. and it sucks. i freak out when im having fun sometimes cuz i know it wont last forever, and time just flies by way too fast when im having fun. im so scared to die, but im even more scared to have my loved ones die. i think life was just made to be short so we could cherish it even more. my english teacher told me yesterday that if there wasnt death, then there wouldnt be love. because love exists knowing that it cant last forever, and that there will be an end. im not sure what to think of this yet. but its always there in the back of my head now.

and also it comes to my attention more and more that this world is starting to lose all sense of morale. its so disheartening. i know it is not my place to judge, but thats the biggest thing i struggle with. but its sooooooo hard for me to just sit back, and forget about people and their sins and just be close friends with them still, because their constant sinning is always there in my mind, and i dont know what to do. but everyday i just realize more and more and frickin more that this world is going down the tubes and nobody cares about anything anymore. 

so yea, there's a lot more on my mind, but im just too overloaded with crap right now im just like AAAHHHHH so maybe lata. but thats good nuff for now. so meh, whatever. 

~ cindi lou